By Vicki Wagoner

“Everything that happens in our lives is for us to learn and evolve from. There is a gift in everything. Everything” Some people are understandable confused when I say that – at least at first. Any experience we have, be it something we label as good or bad; any person we meet, our best friend or a stranger on the street; an situation we create in our lives, consciously or unconsciously… each one offers a gift in one form or another. Even the most seemingly unfortunate or ugly situation – such as abuse – offers a gift, if we choose to find it!

I speak from first-hand experience when I say that even abuse can offer a gift. I am a survivor of childhood abuse.. abuse of all kinds, mental, physical, emotional and sexual. I suffered a long time until I discovered natural, self-help techniques ; hypnosis, guided imagery, meditation and energy healing of all kinds. Importantly, I also discovered the power of forgiveness and acceptance. Simply put the process is to understand another person’s situation from a different perspective, to forgive that person and then accept that person for who they are.

That is the greatest gift anyone can give themselves, that is the gift I gave myself. I have chosen to release the label of abuse “survivor.” Instead, I am a winner! When I chose to turn a horrific experience into a gift, my entire world opened up again and allowed me to grow and evolve into who I am today; a wife, a mother, a certified hypnotist, co-founder of The Creative Awareness Center, accomplished artist and creator of Heart, Hands & Healing Art.

The picture you see here is of me and my abuser – my father. Yes, at this point in life, we are both smiling, having a wonderful time together, father and daughter. It is very challenging for some people to believe that I could even be physically close to my father. It’s even more challenging when I say that I love my Dad… that my father is one of my best friends and one of my greatest teachers. Many find it hard to believe that I could love a man that would do what he did to his own child. Yet, I do love my father. I love him for exactly who he is. Through hypnosis and other self-help methods, I have come to understand and accept my Dad. Just as importantly, I have come to understand and accept myself. I was an innocent child, a child of God that chose to come into this lifetime to learn from all my experiences – the ones we would label as good, and bad. As for my father, he was also born an innocent child. Through his experience as a child living in extreme poverty in Ecuador, became a child of abuse, and then later, an abuser himself. He simply did not have the courage, strength, wisdom or love for himself to be anything else.

I believe I have made different choices, and once I understood I could make my own choices, I began to heal. To this day, my father will not seek help… and that’s OK. That is what he has chosen to do. Not me! I chose to break the chain. I chose to empower myself, to move past the hurt and pain, to understand it from a different perspective, a spiritual perspective. I began to understand that my father and I made an agreement to come into this lifetime so that we could both learn from each other, to assist each other to find the gifts in our experience together so that we could evolve to the next level of spiritual development.

Would I wish childhood abuse of any kind on anyone? never. Would I want to relive all the heartache and pain that was associated with this experience? No, thanks! But am I grateful for the lessons learned from this experience? Absolutely!

What kinds of amazing, wonderful gifts did I experience and learn from through my years of abuse? Believe me, I learned more about myself than I could ever imagine possible. I learned that I could survive anything. More than survive, I could thrive. I realized that I am courageous, tremendously courageous. I have courage and the inner wisdom to seek answers about myself, a gift that had been there all along, but had laid dormant for years. I have courage to trust in myself, my intuition and even other people, despite what had happened to me. I have learned to overcome many, many obstacles because I survived abuse, which I feel is the ultimate obstacle. It made me seek a closer connection to God and all of creation. I have learned about compassion, understanding, forgiveness and acceptance. I realized that I really do love myself. Only by loving oneself will one find the courage to seek answers and healing. I had the courage, wisdom and inner strength to break the chain of abuse! I also realized that I am like my Dad in lots of ways – I am adventurous, enjoy the outdoors… I love to paint and create. I have a zest for life, just like my father.

I believe that because of this experience, I was guided to a career in hypnosis… so that I could further my own healing and offer others the same powerful gifts of hope, self-healing and personal power that I have found. I truly know what my clients are going through. I believe in them and know that they too can heal and evolve.

Does all this stuff work – understanding, accepting, seeing others from a different perspective? Well, I recently spent ten days with my father, in his house. In my 52 years, it was the best time we’d ever had together. We laughed, talked and hugged each other. When the time came for me to return home, we both cried like babies – we were going to miss each other so much. That is the power of understanding, forgiveness and acceptance! Yes, this does work. I am the poster child for self-healing!